Verse One:
I love the disappointment written on your face
When I pick up a beer, you frown,
you look down it kills me
I love how you look in your flower dress today
And the way you tilt your head
when you smile from cheek to cheek
The views around me disappear
Chorus:
You are beautiful, talented
Don't reconstruct anything
It's perfect the way that it is
I love your wittiness
Your caring nature, with you it's bliss
Don't change who you are
Don't change anything
Verse Two:
Her insecurities, her strengths
It makes her perfect
I want her to know that it's true
And when she cries it chips at my heart, until it shatters
So let me wipe away those tears for you
Repeat Chorus x2
Thursday, March 10, 2011
OASIS
I see past the black, misty mountains
Rain droplets rushing down, like micro fountains
Tall trees whistling, and whispering in the crisp air
I’ll forget about the worries, I don’t care
What’s happening back in reality?
I’m here to reclaim my spirituality.
It’s windy and breezy, but I take it easy
Enjoying my atmosphere and my view
The colourless clouds, hiding the sky’s blue
Rustling and kicking tiny rocks that I walk along as winds start hitting me strong
Stepping towards, the prickly bushes on the side
Little insects and geckos, camouflaged, they hide
Sounds of little kids rejoicing and playing
Shouts of youth, and their inappropriate sayings
Slaying the day, and just relaxing, I’m comfortable
Camp owner strutting around near me, like he’s mister king constable
Photographer shares the same crimson liquid in his veins like me
Annoying me, while I engage myself in deep poetry
He’s capturing a moment of my complexion
Lenses on my reflection, picture shows perfection
A dormant bonfire and a pretty girl lying on a bench alone
Probably wishing, she could just, be back home
Her mood similar, to the leaves that are dying
Ray of hope, soon to be arriving
I now see love in its purest form, a mother’s gaze
As she surveys her child’s face
I miraculously see, passed the sun rays
It must be this place, hoping the joy lasts for days
It’s great here at the Christian convention Oasis
The unpolluted air, the range and spaces
I ponder for a while
Clear my mind, and enter into meditation
Open my eyes breathe in and smile
Admire the wonders of God’s beautiful creation.
Dreading the moments of having to rejoin humanity
This Oasis, why couldn’t you just be my reality?
Rain droplets rushing down, like micro fountains
Tall trees whistling, and whispering in the crisp air
I’ll forget about the worries, I don’t care
What’s happening back in reality?
I’m here to reclaim my spirituality.
It’s windy and breezy, but I take it easy
Enjoying my atmosphere and my view
The colourless clouds, hiding the sky’s blue
Rustling and kicking tiny rocks that I walk along as winds start hitting me strong
Stepping towards, the prickly bushes on the side
Little insects and geckos, camouflaged, they hide
Sounds of little kids rejoicing and playing
Shouts of youth, and their inappropriate sayings
Slaying the day, and just relaxing, I’m comfortable
Camp owner strutting around near me, like he’s mister king constable
Photographer shares the same crimson liquid in his veins like me
Annoying me, while I engage myself in deep poetry
He’s capturing a moment of my complexion
Lenses on my reflection, picture shows perfection
A dormant bonfire and a pretty girl lying on a bench alone
Probably wishing, she could just, be back home
Her mood similar, to the leaves that are dying
Ray of hope, soon to be arriving
I now see love in its purest form, a mother’s gaze
As she surveys her child’s face
I miraculously see, passed the sun rays
It must be this place, hoping the joy lasts for days
It’s great here at the Christian convention Oasis
The unpolluted air, the range and spaces
I ponder for a while
Clear my mind, and enter into meditation
Open my eyes breathe in and smile
Admire the wonders of God’s beautiful creation.
Dreading the moments of having to rejoin humanity
This Oasis, why couldn’t you just be my reality?
My Personal Rapture
Yes I am an insomniac, alcoholic and I am depressed
Read into my past, you’ll never pass my tests
I’m confused, troubled and compressed
Beware! If you get me stressed
You’ll fuse a ticking time bomb, ready to explode
But lucky for you, I’m calm but I implode
So you never have to suffer through another dramatic episode!
These days, I’m defeating the demonization, the complications
I’m nursing my wounds, without liquids and substances
It’s about time I did too, goodbye vices during the winter blues
I know that it’s written in my history and it’ll stay with me for eternity
But cleansing will soar through and I’ll move on with certainty
So come on! Bring on the obstacles and addictions, I’ll fight
Renewal doesn’t begin tomorrow, change starts tonight
I raise my arms in victory with work and university
I’m transformed into who I was destined to be
As I stare in the evil eyes of adversity
I slaughter the evil like a vigilante, to see goodness prevail perfectly
The demons imprinted my soul with sins, but I’m desperate to win
So I fire back with a stamp on their cranium
A blood written declaration of fail on them
The Spiritual warfare, the battle for my heart
I was weak then, but now I’m steel, you can’t tear me apart
Now I see that, you’re nothing, you’re useless
Yes, you’re jealous and ruthless
Now I got someone on my side
Yes, be terrified, tremble, and race to hide
My God will overpower you, I’ll definitely testify
Pure truth set me free from his self-destructive lies
Demons be gone, our union, crumbles, fumbles then dies
I am changed and forever I’m motivated, I’ll continue to try
The land of my heart, mind and soul are no longer dark or dry
You lost, and you’re devastated from my direction of dedication
Of being secured and reclaiming what I miss
Enjoy another thousand years stuck in your abyss
So as my past is lowered six feet underground
I hear the Lord’s voice, a deep holy sound
Saying the patience of two years have passed, at last,
You’re granted with your licence of freedom, but I sadly see him
I see liberty while he enters into a captive cell, his new personal hell
We both lived at rock bottom Boulevard, but the difference is, I acted with intelligence to end the game
While the illness was taken by the demons that led to the disgrace of his ancestral name
The crash, the burn and the scandal leads to my personal rapture
I’m not speaking of death; I’m speaking of starting a new chapter
Twenty thousand down in debt, I’ve learnt and I’ve wept
I truly smile now, as I gaze at the heavens through the sun,
The brightness surrounds, the dark days reach the finish line, and I won
I’ve made mistakes and I’ve definitely had my fun
But like Christ declared on the cross, it’s accomplished, it’s finished and it’s finally done.
Read into my past, you’ll never pass my tests
I’m confused, troubled and compressed
Beware! If you get me stressed
You’ll fuse a ticking time bomb, ready to explode
But lucky for you, I’m calm but I implode
So you never have to suffer through another dramatic episode!
These days, I’m defeating the demonization, the complications
I’m nursing my wounds, without liquids and substances
It’s about time I did too, goodbye vices during the winter blues
I know that it’s written in my history and it’ll stay with me for eternity
But cleansing will soar through and I’ll move on with certainty
So come on! Bring on the obstacles and addictions, I’ll fight
Renewal doesn’t begin tomorrow, change starts tonight
I raise my arms in victory with work and university
I’m transformed into who I was destined to be
As I stare in the evil eyes of adversity
I slaughter the evil like a vigilante, to see goodness prevail perfectly
The demons imprinted my soul with sins, but I’m desperate to win
So I fire back with a stamp on their cranium
A blood written declaration of fail on them
The Spiritual warfare, the battle for my heart
I was weak then, but now I’m steel, you can’t tear me apart
Now I see that, you’re nothing, you’re useless
Yes, you’re jealous and ruthless
Now I got someone on my side
Yes, be terrified, tremble, and race to hide
My God will overpower you, I’ll definitely testify
Pure truth set me free from his self-destructive lies
Demons be gone, our union, crumbles, fumbles then dies
I am changed and forever I’m motivated, I’ll continue to try
The land of my heart, mind and soul are no longer dark or dry
You lost, and you’re devastated from my direction of dedication
Of being secured and reclaiming what I miss
Enjoy another thousand years stuck in your abyss
So as my past is lowered six feet underground
I hear the Lord’s voice, a deep holy sound
Saying the patience of two years have passed, at last,
You’re granted with your licence of freedom, but I sadly see him
I see liberty while he enters into a captive cell, his new personal hell
We both lived at rock bottom Boulevard, but the difference is, I acted with intelligence to end the game
While the illness was taken by the demons that led to the disgrace of his ancestral name
The crash, the burn and the scandal leads to my personal rapture
I’m not speaking of death; I’m speaking of starting a new chapter
Twenty thousand down in debt, I’ve learnt and I’ve wept
I truly smile now, as I gaze at the heavens through the sun,
The brightness surrounds, the dark days reach the finish line, and I won
I’ve made mistakes and I’ve definitely had my fun
But like Christ declared on the cross, it’s accomplished, it’s finished and it’s finally done.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
A Mind of its Own.
Well I wrote a song that I dubbed, "A mind of its Own."
I've been listening to a lot of emotional songs lately, and I wanted to write another emotional song to add to the list of other emotional songs that I've written over the years. I'm pretty sure if you know me well enough, you'll know what it's all about. If you don't, that's great! :)
A MIND OF ITS OWN
Verse ONE:
I’m heavyhearted and remorseful
That I’m starting to feel like this
It’s foolish, so point and laugh
As I declare my love and I completely miss
Tension and awkwardness fills the situation
Ridiculed now for my declaration
Flattery you feel; clichés you have spoken
Stop please. My heart, it’s broken.
Pre-CHORUS:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Verse TWO:
Strangers and distancing seems ideal
Poetic justice, played out so beautifully
I’m hurt by you, but I smile still
How is that possible, tell me?
Ashes to dust, I try to rise
But positivity flows down the drain
Goodbye heart beats, listen as it dies
Don’t worry; I’m immune to the pain.
Pre-Chorus:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Bridge:
Overwhelmed with deep emotions
Empty are the deepest oceans
Beauty never ever did exist
Have feelings turned this into a war?
What’s the very cause of this?
Stop now, I don't care.
Bring it back to how it was before
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Pre-Chorus:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
ENJOY!
SANITY OUT!
I've been listening to a lot of emotional songs lately, and I wanted to write another emotional song to add to the list of other emotional songs that I've written over the years. I'm pretty sure if you know me well enough, you'll know what it's all about. If you don't, that's great! :)
A MIND OF ITS OWN
Verse ONE:
I’m heavyhearted and remorseful
That I’m starting to feel like this
It’s foolish, so point and laugh
As I declare my love and I completely miss
Tension and awkwardness fills the situation
Ridiculed now for my declaration
Flattery you feel; clichés you have spoken
Stop please. My heart, it’s broken.
Pre-CHORUS:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Verse TWO:
Strangers and distancing seems ideal
Poetic justice, played out so beautifully
I’m hurt by you, but I smile still
How is that possible, tell me?
Ashes to dust, I try to rise
But positivity flows down the drain
Goodbye heart beats, listen as it dies
Don’t worry; I’m immune to the pain.
Pre-Chorus:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Bridge:
Overwhelmed with deep emotions
Empty are the deepest oceans
Beauty never ever did exist
Have feelings turned this into a war?
What’s the very cause of this?
Stop now, I don't care.
Bring it back to how it was before
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
Pre-Chorus:
So does my world stop spinning now?
May it unfold and crumble down?
Will it consume and impale me now?
CHORUS:
I’m sorry my dear friend
The heart has a mind of its own.
It’s deceived me once again
I got to face this, all on my own.
ENJOY!
SANITY OUT!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Writer's Write. My Passion. My Dream.
Tomorrow's my 3rd week at school. I've been learning a lot in my new short course for Creative Writing. Looking into different techniques and styles of other writers and I've also been learning about common mistakes that writers tend to make.
I've found in my group that my goals are very farfetched compared to everyone elses and I feel my intellect and maturity doesn't meet their standards.
It's become disheartening for me as a matter of fact. It's making me feel as if I shouldn't even be there every night on a Wednesday.
Everyone in that group basically wants to write a children's book, a cooking book, a novel of some genre and whereas I want to create a TV series.
I love TV shows, movies and film altogether. I'm the one who actually analyses everything whilst enjoying what I watch. Which may make me quite weird to a handful of people. I look into storylines, dialogue and how it's been put together. The great thing about it is, it gives me ideas for when I write my stories. But on the other hand, well I think anyway, it's added strongly onto my traits of being opinionated and judgmental.
For the last couple of days all I've really been doing in my spare time is nothing but writing, writing and writing. I've been working on songwriting, scriptwriting, storywriting and poetry to try and improve my skills. In the last two classes at CAE, it has been concreted deep within me that, I'm not the best writer. I don't have a large vocabulary base, but I love writing and I have a passion for it. I believe a writer writes. It's their foundation. It's the representation and illstration in their minds, being transferred and written down on paper. As long as I'm aware of that, I will keep writing until the day I must be buried six feet under.
Anyway, that's my two bob in for the week about my life.
Wanted to continue more about my favourite TV shows, I love and that I'm watching at the moment. These shows are the reasons why I wanted to become a TV series creator. Anyway here is my top TV shows.
LOST: I cannot wait until the last season of this series. I have watched it from day one and I'm absolutely addicted. It's confusing for a lot of people and they get turned off by that for they want something simple-minded and easy to follow and that's obviously understandable and normal, but to me, that's the reason I love LOST. For it's complex and mind blowing storylines, actions and twists. This show was very close to my heart just as much as Prison Break was.
Californication: You may think I'm perverted, and it might be true. But I love this show for it's humour and honesty. It's rebellious. And I'm talking about how the show is run and that it's a show that delivers the nitty gritty things that most people would feel very uncomfortable and offended by. It's a masterpiece, props Tom Kapinos (Creator of Californication) you're an absolute genius.
One Tree Hill: At the moment they're in their 7th season and I'm actually getting bored but I can't forget the wonderfully and beautifully made season 1, 3 and 4. Mark Schwahn made you fall in love with the characters he created and he made you feel something in your heart for them. They started to make you feel like they are normal people and you wanted to be their friends and know them personally. Now I'm in love with Kate Voegele, Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton, all thanks to One Tree Hill. Rated just under this show would have to be the OC as well until Mischa Barton and co-creators Josh Scwartz and Stephanie Savage killed it, even Gossip Girl is starting to suck right now. But I miss Summer Roberts?
How I Met Your Mother: I know a whole lot of people who can't stand How I Met Your Mother. They want the story to unfold, they want to start getting clues at very least even, on who Ted's wife is going to be. I don't, keep it going the way it is. I don't want this series to end, it's so fun and entertaining and I've fallen in love with these characters. Coby Smulders, you are a delightful, elegant lady. And the creator of How I Met Your Mother Carter Bay is a great writer. If you can gather an audience by only showing nibbles of a storyline for over five seasons and still keep viewers and fans entertained, to me that's brilliant.
Heroes: Yeah I know. WOW! Someone out there actually still loves Heroes. Well you know what, watch volume 5, you might actually be surprised! It's not Season 1 standard just yet but it's getting there and I'm actually enjoying it. Hayden and Madeleine Zima kiss each other. Uh huh, believe it, it's great. Creator of Heroes, Tim Kring, has fought so hard and for so long. He's probably had to hear the most harshes of words by fans and critics, but he just continues going on with this show. That's true bravery and a pinch of soul and a never give up attitude. Someone worth looking up to, in my eyes.
So yeah these are the writers I look up to and the shows I love and even if it is just a short course, hopefully these Creative Writing classes can continue to keep me running that race of one day living out my dream.
I've found in my group that my goals are very farfetched compared to everyone elses and I feel my intellect and maturity doesn't meet their standards.
It's become disheartening for me as a matter of fact. It's making me feel as if I shouldn't even be there every night on a Wednesday.
Everyone in that group basically wants to write a children's book, a cooking book, a novel of some genre and whereas I want to create a TV series.
I love TV shows, movies and film altogether. I'm the one who actually analyses everything whilst enjoying what I watch. Which may make me quite weird to a handful of people. I look into storylines, dialogue and how it's been put together. The great thing about it is, it gives me ideas for when I write my stories. But on the other hand, well I think anyway, it's added strongly onto my traits of being opinionated and judgmental.
For the last couple of days all I've really been doing in my spare time is nothing but writing, writing and writing. I've been working on songwriting, scriptwriting, storywriting and poetry to try and improve my skills. In the last two classes at CAE, it has been concreted deep within me that, I'm not the best writer. I don't have a large vocabulary base, but I love writing and I have a passion for it. I believe a writer writes. It's their foundation. It's the representation and illstration in their minds, being transferred and written down on paper. As long as I'm aware of that, I will keep writing until the day I must be buried six feet under.
Anyway, that's my two bob in for the week about my life.
Wanted to continue more about my favourite TV shows, I love and that I'm watching at the moment. These shows are the reasons why I wanted to become a TV series creator. Anyway here is my top TV shows.
LOST: I cannot wait until the last season of this series. I have watched it from day one and I'm absolutely addicted. It's confusing for a lot of people and they get turned off by that for they want something simple-minded and easy to follow and that's obviously understandable and normal, but to me, that's the reason I love LOST. For it's complex and mind blowing storylines, actions and twists. This show was very close to my heart just as much as Prison Break was.
Californication: You may think I'm perverted, and it might be true. But I love this show for it's humour and honesty. It's rebellious. And I'm talking about how the show is run and that it's a show that delivers the nitty gritty things that most people would feel very uncomfortable and offended by. It's a masterpiece, props Tom Kapinos (Creator of Californication) you're an absolute genius.
One Tree Hill: At the moment they're in their 7th season and I'm actually getting bored but I can't forget the wonderfully and beautifully made season 1, 3 and 4. Mark Schwahn made you fall in love with the characters he created and he made you feel something in your heart for them. They started to make you feel like they are normal people and you wanted to be their friends and know them personally. Now I'm in love with Kate Voegele, Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton, all thanks to One Tree Hill. Rated just under this show would have to be the OC as well until Mischa Barton and co-creators Josh Scwartz and Stephanie Savage killed it, even Gossip Girl is starting to suck right now. But I miss Summer Roberts?
How I Met Your Mother: I know a whole lot of people who can't stand How I Met Your Mother. They want the story to unfold, they want to start getting clues at very least even, on who Ted's wife is going to be. I don't, keep it going the way it is. I don't want this series to end, it's so fun and entertaining and I've fallen in love with these characters. Coby Smulders, you are a delightful, elegant lady. And the creator of How I Met Your Mother Carter Bay is a great writer. If you can gather an audience by only showing nibbles of a storyline for over five seasons and still keep viewers and fans entertained, to me that's brilliant.
Heroes: Yeah I know. WOW! Someone out there actually still loves Heroes. Well you know what, watch volume 5, you might actually be surprised! It's not Season 1 standard just yet but it's getting there and I'm actually enjoying it. Hayden and Madeleine Zima kiss each other. Uh huh, believe it, it's great. Creator of Heroes, Tim Kring, has fought so hard and for so long. He's probably had to hear the most harshes of words by fans and critics, but he just continues going on with this show. That's true bravery and a pinch of soul and a never give up attitude. Someone worth looking up to, in my eyes.
So yeah these are the writers I look up to and the shows I love and even if it is just a short course, hopefully these Creative Writing classes can continue to keep me running that race of one day living out my dream.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Believe That Dreams Come True Everyday
So anyone out there gazing into their TV screens every Sunday night at 7:30pm watching Australian Idol? Well I do. For some, no one really cares about Australian Idol anymore. Probably the last time they did was when Guy Sebastian won the crown of Australian Idol in it's first year. I love Australian Idol, because I'm a singer and because I love seeing people live out their dream. It melts my heart and it brings me into overwhelming emotions. There's three people I want to win Australian Idol this year and that's Kim, Hayley and Stan. I just think they're amazing. I watch them living out my dream, using the stage they are given by Australian Idol and using the voice they've been given by God and entertaining people and making them feel something. I went to audition for Australian Idol back in 2007. I waited for 7 hours to audition in Melbourne at Rod Laver Arena. I remember hanging with a high school friend and her friends, practicing what I was going to sing in front of them and they adored me. My time to audition had finally come and I went inside that room with three old ladies gazing at me and I came in with guns blazing, with my heart and dream on my sleeves as fear and nerves struck me but I used it. They were going to give it to me but they said No. And my high school friends' friends, who thought I would have gotten in were disappointed and they turned away from me. A girl wanted my autograph before the audition when I didn't get in she didn't want it anymore. It's something that sticks out to me in my life. But I continue singing at church and I practice writing my own songs at home. It was always a dream of mine to sing and sing the songs I wrote and to play the songs I wrote. I feel like I ruined it by smoking and my voice could have been better, if I never did.
I also wanted to be a cartoonist, a pastor and a professional wrestler. But these things that I wanted to do when I was a child has changed and the only thing that sticks is that dream to be a recording artist.
But life causes your dreams and ambitions to change. In Year 9, I decided I wanted to show the world my life. I wanted to show the world what I've been through and for them to notice me. I wanted to express myself by showing what my mind thinks and what my heart feels and what my soul reaps. I started to write poetry and raps and that's exactly how I got into expressing myself. I felt like songwriting was great and I loved poetry and rap. I loved the creativity, I loved the freedom of expression and emotions, it caught me and grabbed my attention, this was leading into something I wanted to do. I started to write stories about violence, love and havoc and mayhem, about drugs, alcohol and sex and music. I watched movies and TV Shows and enjoy them but I also listen into dialogue and I also look closely at how they put the story together because everything intrigues me about film. TV Shows that made me want to write even more were The OC, Californication and One Tree Hill and I loved Prison Break, CSI, Dexter and LOST. When I thought about these TV Shows that I adored and loved, I wanted to write my own and combine these altogether to create something that I could print my name on. That's when I wanted to create a TV series. It was a big dream but I wanted it real bad. I love singing, I'd love to preach one day, I love wrestling and drawing, but writing, if I became a writer and got to be a creator of a TV series, it would be an absolute dream come true. As some of you may know, ever since I stopped going to school I've been writing a story called 'When Two World's Collide' and I'm on my 9th draft. I've always changed it and thought about what would work together and tried to get ideas from my favourite TV shows to see what worked, what didn't, what was too predictable, why these were so great, I started to think like a creator or a TV series. People continued to tell me to go to school and make it happen. They told me to gather more skills and develop my writing ability. I needed to make the dream happen.
Well the dream begins on October 7th, 2009 at 6pm. I'll be beginning with a short course in Creative Writing. It's small, but hell, it's a start. As I think about it, it can get me there one day. Every dream starts off small and short and every day that passes brings you one day closer to that dream. That's why they say 'Believe that dreams come true everyday.' Because I'm going to be living it now. I'm not saying that I've made it, I'm saying that it's begun and I'm going to work my arse off to get it because I've wanted an opportunity to climb the ladder to becoming a TV series writer/creator for a long time. Sometimes a man just needs a break, sometimes a man needs a goal, sometimes a man needs to feel happiness. I've been through hell and walked through it many times, I need to know that there's a world of happiness and joy.
Believe that dreams come true everyday ... because they do.
I also wanted to be a cartoonist, a pastor and a professional wrestler. But these things that I wanted to do when I was a child has changed and the only thing that sticks is that dream to be a recording artist.
But life causes your dreams and ambitions to change. In Year 9, I decided I wanted to show the world my life. I wanted to show the world what I've been through and for them to notice me. I wanted to express myself by showing what my mind thinks and what my heart feels and what my soul reaps. I started to write poetry and raps and that's exactly how I got into expressing myself. I felt like songwriting was great and I loved poetry and rap. I loved the creativity, I loved the freedom of expression and emotions, it caught me and grabbed my attention, this was leading into something I wanted to do. I started to write stories about violence, love and havoc and mayhem, about drugs, alcohol and sex and music. I watched movies and TV Shows and enjoy them but I also listen into dialogue and I also look closely at how they put the story together because everything intrigues me about film. TV Shows that made me want to write even more were The OC, Californication and One Tree Hill and I loved Prison Break, CSI, Dexter and LOST. When I thought about these TV Shows that I adored and loved, I wanted to write my own and combine these altogether to create something that I could print my name on. That's when I wanted to create a TV series. It was a big dream but I wanted it real bad. I love singing, I'd love to preach one day, I love wrestling and drawing, but writing, if I became a writer and got to be a creator of a TV series, it would be an absolute dream come true. As some of you may know, ever since I stopped going to school I've been writing a story called 'When Two World's Collide' and I'm on my 9th draft. I've always changed it and thought about what would work together and tried to get ideas from my favourite TV shows to see what worked, what didn't, what was too predictable, why these were so great, I started to think like a creator or a TV series. People continued to tell me to go to school and make it happen. They told me to gather more skills and develop my writing ability. I needed to make the dream happen.
Well the dream begins on October 7th, 2009 at 6pm. I'll be beginning with a short course in Creative Writing. It's small, but hell, it's a start. As I think about it, it can get me there one day. Every dream starts off small and short and every day that passes brings you one day closer to that dream. That's why they say 'Believe that dreams come true everyday.' Because I'm going to be living it now. I'm not saying that I've made it, I'm saying that it's begun and I'm going to work my arse off to get it because I've wanted an opportunity to climb the ladder to becoming a TV series writer/creator for a long time. Sometimes a man just needs a break, sometimes a man needs a goal, sometimes a man needs to feel happiness. I've been through hell and walked through it many times, I need to know that there's a world of happiness and joy.
Believe that dreams come true everyday ... because they do.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Psalms 37:4
One of my latest blog posts was put into story form which was a hidden metaphor for how my emotions were of how my life was at that time. It's sort of how I've been living my life as of late. Living in metaphors, ignoring and avoiding and beating around the bush. I think lately, I've crawled into a familiar shell that once made me feel comfortable. So many emotions have been bottled up for a while now that a bomb has been planted inside of me. I've been feeling stressed, lost, confused, irritated, lonely, bland, lazy and as funny as it seems unattractive.
I've become fairly emotional once again when I thought I was fighting through it, but that was a long time ago. Just to give you an insight of how my life is at the moment, I have to pay money that I can't pay myself for I don't have a stable job, but today I was handing in resumes. It's been a whole lot of thinking lately back and forth, positive to negative, right to wrong, evil to good and what people will think about me most especially. To be honest, I see people with great looks, their ability to drive a vehicle, people who can just spend and spend until their hearts content, people who can hold someone close and have someone call them at the end of a stressful day and say "I missed you", I see people who have meaning in their life that have a role in this world and people who can say "God is so evident in my life". This year, I've been pushed back and stuck in quicksand. It's been three years since I've been in a classroom and my biggest desire right now for next year is to be the year that I first step into a classroom to begin TAFE or university. My Christmas present for this year, I'd be happy to know that I paid everything off to everyone and to the fines and that I can have money to myself for a while. By 2010, I want to be fully devoted to God once more and by 2011, I want to be a non smoker. Really a girlfriend isn't what I want and I know it's not what I need. What I need is to change myself and find redemption through God, my family and my friends. I want to know life without being drunk or tipsy, I want to know how life feels with healthy lungs, I want to know how life is when your heart beats really fast and I want to know how it feels when your soul has been touched spiritually and I want to know how it feels when your mind is at ease and to be problem free. Once upon a time I have felt these things before, so I believe I can feel those things again. When I look back on 2009, I look back at a young girl vs. my family, alcohol problems, two sprained ankles and a car accident. I know my family is more important than any girl in this world. I know two sprained or fractured ankles can't put me down for I still stand up and walk. I know that this car accident has piled on a lot of negativity in me and more problems to be solved, but I survived it for redemption, so I can learn and be stronger and better than I was before. But why does it still affect me? Everyday, I need to see people with the freedom that I long for, everyday, I have to live with the fact that I nearly killed myself and someone else and that it's another way that I've disgraced myself and my family. But they say, "It's to those people and you that think that way. Just know God has already forgotten about it." Twenty Two Years Old, is how old I'll be when I'm on the road again, 20 months to go. But they say, "We don't need to worry about the next day for it's in God's hands we just need to believe it. It's the excuses and why that happened, they don't become just questions anymore, they become questions and problems, but they become questions and problems that God and you will work out and answer."
We can't have these things given to us on a silver plater we need to go out there and grab it. To look attractive - we need to exercise and eat right, to have the ability to drive a vehicle - we need to wait and learn from our mistakes, to spend and to have money - we need to have jobs and work, to have a girlfriend - we need to wait in line and wait for God's time.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4). Perhaps then I'll find God being evident in my life. I'm alive, I have a family, I have friends, I'm learning and I have a will to change and be better every time, God is already evident after all. But I know what I need to do. Step One: Talk to God, Pray, do your Devotions and read the Bible, Step Two: Keep doing that and practice it and wait, watch and listen for God to speak to you. Step Three: Continue Step One and Two, excercise and keep handing out resumes until a job accepts you and that's a start.
I've become fairly emotional once again when I thought I was fighting through it, but that was a long time ago. Just to give you an insight of how my life is at the moment, I have to pay money that I can't pay myself for I don't have a stable job, but today I was handing in resumes. It's been a whole lot of thinking lately back and forth, positive to negative, right to wrong, evil to good and what people will think about me most especially. To be honest, I see people with great looks, their ability to drive a vehicle, people who can just spend and spend until their hearts content, people who can hold someone close and have someone call them at the end of a stressful day and say "I missed you", I see people who have meaning in their life that have a role in this world and people who can say "God is so evident in my life". This year, I've been pushed back and stuck in quicksand. It's been three years since I've been in a classroom and my biggest desire right now for next year is to be the year that I first step into a classroom to begin TAFE or university. My Christmas present for this year, I'd be happy to know that I paid everything off to everyone and to the fines and that I can have money to myself for a while. By 2010, I want to be fully devoted to God once more and by 2011, I want to be a non smoker. Really a girlfriend isn't what I want and I know it's not what I need. What I need is to change myself and find redemption through God, my family and my friends. I want to know life without being drunk or tipsy, I want to know how life feels with healthy lungs, I want to know how life is when your heart beats really fast and I want to know how it feels when your soul has been touched spiritually and I want to know how it feels when your mind is at ease and to be problem free. Once upon a time I have felt these things before, so I believe I can feel those things again. When I look back on 2009, I look back at a young girl vs. my family, alcohol problems, two sprained ankles and a car accident. I know my family is more important than any girl in this world. I know two sprained or fractured ankles can't put me down for I still stand up and walk. I know that this car accident has piled on a lot of negativity in me and more problems to be solved, but I survived it for redemption, so I can learn and be stronger and better than I was before. But why does it still affect me? Everyday, I need to see people with the freedom that I long for, everyday, I have to live with the fact that I nearly killed myself and someone else and that it's another way that I've disgraced myself and my family. But they say, "It's to those people and you that think that way. Just know God has already forgotten about it." Twenty Two Years Old, is how old I'll be when I'm on the road again, 20 months to go. But they say, "We don't need to worry about the next day for it's in God's hands we just need to believe it. It's the excuses and why that happened, they don't become just questions anymore, they become questions and problems, but they become questions and problems that God and you will work out and answer."
We can't have these things given to us on a silver plater we need to go out there and grab it. To look attractive - we need to exercise and eat right, to have the ability to drive a vehicle - we need to wait and learn from our mistakes, to spend and to have money - we need to have jobs and work, to have a girlfriend - we need to wait in line and wait for God's time.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalms 37:4). Perhaps then I'll find God being evident in my life. I'm alive, I have a family, I have friends, I'm learning and I have a will to change and be better every time, God is already evident after all. But I know what I need to do. Step One: Talk to God, Pray, do your Devotions and read the Bible, Step Two: Keep doing that and practice it and wait, watch and listen for God to speak to you. Step Three: Continue Step One and Two, excercise and keep handing out resumes until a job accepts you and that's a start.
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